It's not easy to go through your day thinking while doing every bit of a task, passing every corner and looking at each face.. "this might be the last time I.." , you feel overwhelmed and forced to react to that thought with a heart warm feeling and forcing that moment in your memories drawer. so we choose to overlook those little things and focusing on the moment the airplane take off, or the key twirling inside the whole for the last time, or that last look at the empty house that you feel it's presence already apart from you. It is stages isn't it? moving from one to the next, closing one and moving on. I miss that place, and I knew I would the moment I moved in. I knew it's temporarily so that might be why I enjoyed it more than usual. doesn't mean at all that I wasn't longing to return, but I knew that once I leave I wont return. and even if I did someday It would be a whole other place than the one I used to be in.
With the whole Covid thing I've been noticing people leaving more than usual, the number might not be that different from the years before but I feel more conscious of each name and the memories attached to it. people are just like places. we might not be temporary but our stay in this life sure is. So do we think of those we love as the airplane lifting off moment? the key in the whole? probably the last look on the house is the most accurate; because once they leave we finally detach ourselves from them. it's no longer who are they to us, it's who they were to themselves. We don't always get to pack our bags before leaving to the next stage do we?
..a mix of random thoughts and nostalgia
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